| Far too often, a couple waits too long to fix the | | | | equally, and one partner is suddenly shirking part |
| problems in their relationship until it is too late to | | | | of his or her responsibility, it's time to take a |
| fix them at all. Here are a few signs that may let | | | | closer look. Something may be going on. |
| you know ahead of time that something is wrong | | | | 5. Have mutual acquaintances started acting a bit |
| and that it needs your immediate attention. | | | | strangely? |
| 1. Does your partner seem to be making up | | | | Sometimes friends notice deterioration in a |
| excuses to be away from you? | | | | relationship sooner than the principals involved. |
| A trip to the store to pick up sodas or a pack of | | | | (And sometimes, they actually know that one of |
| cigarettes may seem innocent enough, but if it is | | | | the partners is up to something outside of the |
| happening on a regular basis and extending into | | | | relationship.) |
| several hours instead of the quick 20-minute trip it | | | | Anyway, if you start seeing strange looks coming |
| should have been, it is time to sit up and take | | | | your way, or passing between your friends, find |
| notice. | | | | out why. |
| That doesn't mean to question your mate every | | | | Very few relationships just explode overnight. If |
| time he is out of your site for one reason or | | | | the people involved are honest, they will have to |
| another. That can lead to a problem by itself even | | | | admit that they have seen a blowup coming for |
| when no problem existed in the first place. | | | | months before it finally happened. |
| It does mean to notice little signs like prolonged | | | | If this is true, and you care about your |
| absences that begin to occur more and more | | | | relationship, watch for some of the signs listed |
| frequently. | | | | above and try to do something about it, before |
| 2. Does your partner seem to be finding excuses | | | | one of you actually walks out the door. |
| to argue? | | | | Set up an hour a week just to talk over |
| It is so much easier to blame the other person | | | | problems and things that need to be taken care |
| when trouble crops up in a relationship, and | | | | of. |
| sometimes, dissatisfied partners have been | | | | That way, in a non-threatening way, you can ask |
| known to manufacture trouble where no trouble | | | | if there is something bothering your partner that |
| exists as an excuse to exit a relationship he or | | | | makes him or her want to spend less time |
| she no longer wants to be a part of. | | | | together. Let your partner know that if there is a |
| There are plenty of opportunities in most | | | | problem, you want to solve it and are willing to do |
| relationships for disagreement without looking for | | | | your part. |
| new ones. If you notice that little things, things | | | | Talk about how your arguments over little things |
| that are not worth arguing over are beginning to | | | | eat away at your relationship, and see if you can't |
| lead to full-blown feuds, the chances are that | | | | agree to reserve resorting to arguments for |
| something is wrong. | | | | really important issues. |
| 3. Have you discovered that your partner has lied | | | | If dishonesty about finances, or time spent away |
| to you? | | | | from home is an issue, resolve to be honest with |
| The lie doesn't have to concern that person's | | | | each other in the future, no matter how much it |
| whereabouts at a particular time, but it can be lies | | | | may hurt. |
| about money, friends, or almost anything. Lies are | | | | Try to keep this discussion to an hour or less and |
| usually a sign that the person telling them has little | | | | don't bring up any of the issues again until your |
| or no respect for the person he is telling the lies | | | | next discussion is scheduled. In the meantime, do |
| to. | | | | your part to correct any of the things the first |
| 4. Is your partner concealing assets from you? | | | | discussion brought to light that you may have |
| Of course every relationship is different. Some | | | | been guilty of and see if the atmosphere around |
| couples have agreed to keep their incomes | | | | your house doesn't start to improve right away. |
| separate, and, if this is true in your case, then this | | | | Learning to recognize the signs that your |
| wouldn't necessarily be a sign that your | | | | relationship may be on the verge of breaking up |
| relationship is about to go on the rocks. If, on the | | | | is the first step in preventing that break up from |
| other hand, you have agreed to share expenses | | | | happening. |