| Copyright (c) 2009 Mary Lloyd | | | | working for you. |
| A few days ago, I saw in someone else's eyes | | | | DON'T GET DOWN ON YOURSELF. You're not a |
| what used to haunt me every time I looked in | | | | failure because you "flunked retirement." A lot of |
| the mirror—the quiet hell of being retired | | | | people do. |
| but wanting to work. The emptiness that | | | | So what DO you do? In a nutshell? Do the work |
| develops for people who need work for their own | | | | to establish what you really WANT to do and |
| well-being but who've retired for whatever reason | | | | then to figure out how to do it in a way that |
| can be hard to explain and painful to endure. | | | | keeps your life balanced. More specifically: |
| Being rid of the demands of work is only | | | | DISCOVER YOUR PASSION. What's worth doing |
| enjoyable for a while. Then we need more to be | | | | at this stage of your life? What gets you excited? |
| happy about getting up in the morning. When you | | | | Listen to your heart. Is there something you want |
| voice that to someone who's still working, they | | | | to improve in the world, your community, or your |
| have no sympathy. Or suggest antidepressants. | | | | neighborhood? The only reliable foundation on |
| Don't be fooled. What you're feeling is not a | | | | which to build your retirement is what you truly |
| problem with brain chemistry. It's a very | | | | value deep down. Eventually, virtually everything |
| reasonable reaction. Living life without a purpose is | | | | else is likely to change. |
| very hard to do. But it remains the cultural | | | | LIST WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT. By the time we |
| expectation of how we are SUPPOSED to live | | | | retire, we've amassed an incredible breadth and |
| retirement. | | | | depth of skills and knowledge. Just writing it all |
| Those who were pushed into retirement or | | | | down will make you feel good about yourself. But |
| jumped on a spontaneous basis might feel this | | | | knowing all that you can do is also key to kindling |
| more quickly. But even those who had plenty of | | | | a fresh flame. Be sure to include the stuff you |
| time to get used to the idea before they retired | | | | learned at non-business pursuits too, whether it's |
| typically end up saying "There has to be more | | | | leading a Brownie troop or officiating high school |
| than this." On average, it comes about a year | | | | lacrosse. |
| after you stop going to work. | | | | DEFINE YOUR PURPOSE. When you mesh what |
| Leisure should be part if your life, but you're not | | | | you're good at with what you believe in, amazing |
| crazy if you can't make it be enough by itself. | | | | things happen. You don't have to save the world. |
| There's no easy path to that "more" though--no | | | | You don't even have to save the day. You do |
| established procedure for claiming it. Each of us | | | | have to save yourself. Discover what gets you |
| whacks our way through this confusing jungle solo | | | | jazzed and learn all you can about it. |
| and hit-or-miss. So let me at least share what I | | | | SHAPE YOUR WORK CONSCIOUSLY. There's |
| have learned. | | | | project work, piece work, seasonal work, or |
| First, a few things you DON'T want to do: | | | | contract work. Creative work (that you might |
| DON'T JUMP RIGHT BACK INTO A REGULAR | | | | never make a dime from). Volunteer work. You |
| JOB JUST TO FILL THE EMPTINESS. Retirement | | | | can work noon to 4:30 on alternate Tuesdays or |
| offers the advantage of maximum flexibility. Be | | | | just the month of February. Once YOU know |
| sure you really WANT to let go of that before | | | | when and how you want to work, you'll be far |
| you start highlighting full-time help wanted ads. | | | | more likely to find, create, or negotiate it. |
| There are a lot of ways to work and "all day | | | | GIVE IT TIME. A bizarre thing happens when you |
| every day five days a week" is only one of them. | | | | retire. All of your time is your own, yet you tell |
| DON'T ASSUME WHAT YOU WERE DOING IS | | | | yourself you don't have enough. You can't learn |
| WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NOW. Even if you | | | | that new thing or build a reputation in that new |
| were the ace at the office, there may be | | | | area of expertise because, you ...well... might die. |
| something you're even better at—and will | | | | Think about it. That's been true since the day you |
| enjoy more—if you take the time to figure | | | | were born. |
| out what it is. | | | | There are a lot of folks still going strong at 90. Be |
| DON'T JUST KEEP DOING NOTHING. You already | | | | one of them. When it is time to take that last |
| know that doesn't work, no matter how many | | | | breath, take it full of satisfaction with what you've |
| people tell you how lucky you are to be able to | | | | been so engaged in. THAT is how we should all |
| do it. People do die from not having enough to | | | | retire. |
| challenge them. Don't just endure it if it isn't | | | | |